The other Stacey’s mom

In my elementary school class we had two Staceys, myself and another girl.    We were friendly with one another for the most part but I wouldn’t say we were ‘friends’.     She was more social than I was (back then the lunch lady was more social than I was!) and I would just assume melt into the wallpaper most days at school rather than    be a part of a gaggle of girls.   That’s why I have so many observation stories to share,  I wasn’t like a ‘normal’ kid.  But anyways..

If I remember correctly the other Stacey’s mother worked in some position at our school so she was able to keep a close eye on her daughter.  In social terms that made her more popular.  Her parents had a big house, drove a nice car and she always had pretty clothes.  Every year for her birthday her mother would bring trays of cupcakes to her class for all of the kids.  She was liked by everyone and everyone wanted to be her best friend.   A few of my classmates had mothers that were teachers or worked in the church part of the school while mine was a glorified stay at home mom. (nothing at ALL to be ashamed of because my mom rocked her job!)  but in ‘popular kid’ terms that wasn’t enough to join the cook kid cliques.   Cliques in my class were easily divided by popularity and that means the only clique I was in was my own.  Well, me and one other person, my best friend Tammy.  At school her and I did everything together, and when she wasn’t at school I would sit by myself somewhere at recess and patiently wait for the day to be over.   My teachers told my mother about it all the time and said I needed to be more social with the other kids.  So my mom signed us up with some carpool to school program that the other mothers were doing. Every day a different mom would drive us all to and from school. ( It just so happened that the kids that were in my carpool was a few of the girls who weren’t very fond of me.)  When the carpool idea didn’t work,  the teachers in my class started putting me and the other Stacey together in the same study group hoping that we would become bffs based on the fact that we shared the same name.  Then, one day her mother showed up to our classroom and passed out party invitations to everyone in the class,  myself included.   Stacey was having a birthday party.

My mom was more excited about the party than I was.  She went out one day while I was at school and bought a birthday gift for me to take to the party and then picked out my outfit I was going to wear.   Thankfully Tammy was invited too and I knew I could rely on her to help me blend into the surroundings.  My mom, however urged me to try to make new friends.  All I could tell her was “I’ll try”.

I remember walking inside Stacey’s house and thinking to myself “WOW”.   Every inch of her house was decorated up for this party right down to colored balloons, streamers and her name on banners pretty much in every room.   Stacey was all dressed up with yellow ribbons in her hair  and very politely thanking everyone for coming all the while as her mother was ushering kids into the back yard for festivities.  There were games, food,  and all of the kids were getting along well for the most part, and I remember I even came out of my shell for a bit that afternoon since the kids that were normally mean towards me seemed to accept me and we all ran around acting like little girls (as much as we could run around in our party dresses, that is!)

Just before the party was over,  Stacey’s mother told us all to get in a line and lead us over to a patio table where a big book sat.

“Now, I want everyone to sign this for Stacey!”  she said “Write something nice about her and how much you appreciate this party”   I looked over at Stacey and she was burying her face in her hands.  I think she wanted to fade away into her surroundings like I usually did.  The book turned out to be a memory book of some sort.  A glorified baby book and beyond, so to speak.  Every single social event in her life so far had been documented in this book and her mom carefully made sure that her daughter had a memento that she would look back on in years to come and remember how much fun her childhood was.
By the time I got to the table she handed me a pen and I started to write “Thank you for inviting me to your party,  love Stacey”   Her mom looked at what I was writing and snatched the pen out of my hand and tossed it onto the table.   “What? No!…  write something else … something you like about her! You can do much better than that!”.  Normally her mother was so sweet and soft spoken,  but not now!     I looked at all of the other signatures before me and there were things like “I like your dimples”  “you have a nice back yard”   “your cake was pink, my fav color”    Finally I picked the pen back up  wrote “I like that we have the same name”  and handed the pen back to her.   She took it, looked back down at what I wrote and dismissed me with a wave.   I guess my entry was sufficient.  I then went back into the yard and joined the other kids who were all now looking for Stacey.  She was nowhere to be found though, and I think she stayed scarce until the party ended and our parents all arrived to pick us up.  After that her mother came out and passed out party bags for everyone that had toys and other things inside them.  “Stacey picked each of these out just for you!”   That appeased us kids for the most part and everyone seemed to forget the weird book incident.

After that I saw Stacey,  and the other popular kids in a different light.    Everybody had some form of weirdness they had to deal with in their lives.. whether you were popular or not popular.   Her mom wanted to preserve her daughter’s social life in a book,  whether she liked it or not.    I have no doubt she meant well… but she should have gotten more of her daughter’s input first.

 

I wonder if she still has it to this day..?

Identity crisis

The following is a vent and nothing more.  I’m not planning anything drastic or stupid so there is no need to worry.   I just feel that if I keep all of these emotions bottled up for much longer it’s weighing on my health as well as my soul.  Maybe if it’s all out I’ll be able to deal with it easier.  At least I hope so.

Lately I’ve been having more issues staying motivated and finding things that keep my interest for any length of time.  When I’m not at work, I feel like I am not accomplishing anything worth while and would much rather be sleeping .   When I sleep I have a good chance of dreaming and my dreams have felt better to live in than reality.  I forget things very easily now and I know I frustrate those close to me when I am scatterbrained and seem more ‘helpless’ because I can’t accomplish a simple task.   I don’t know if this is typical of a midlife crisis, hormonal, an ‘uber’ form of depression or what because I don’t have anybody who would understand to ask… but things just don’t feel right.  I don’t feel like the person I once was,   and not knowing if this is just a temporary phase in my life is really scaring me. I keep hoping one day I’ll wake up and everything will be back to normal,  but the longer this goes on it feels like that will never happen.  It’s a very dark and lonely way to feel… and I don’t know how or why this happened.

I am happily married,  don’t get me wrong.  I don’t think I could imagine my life with anyone else in it,  but even he has changed towards me. He has a very stressful job and over time has allowed it to consume his life,  both work and home.  I’ve always supported him in his career paths and for the most part I don’t feel that I fit the stereotypical “nagging wife” definition.

I met him on the internet back before dating on the internet was a huge thing.   I wasn’t looking for anybody but God knew I needed someone so there he was.  Our first weekend meeting face to face was carefree and so, so amazing.   We had a chance to get to know one another online before meeting face to face so that helped our meeting be less awkward overall.   We spent a wonderful weekend in Lake Tahoe and without even needing to say it decided that we would spend the rest of our lives together.  Now, all of the things that he said he loved about me back then seem to irritate him now.  For instance, he said he used to love how spontaneous I was.   We once made a pact to never fall into a routine.  Why?  Because routines are boring!    We said no matter what curveballs were thrown at us in life, that we would do whatever we wanted because at heart we would always be young, even if one of us was in a wheelchair.    “You keep me young”  he once said, and I had a talent of making him laugh (I love to hear him laugh)   A few months ago we were both wide awake on a Saturday night and I leaned into him and said “Let’s go to Denny’s!”   When we lived overseas we would often make comments on how we missed good old American 24 hour diners so I figured my mentioning it may not end up with us going to Denny’s but may get a chuckle from him and remove his nose from his computer screen long enough for a short conversation.   Instead, I got an annoyed sigh and the reply “NO, ARE YOU KIDDING?  it’s TWO THIRTY IN THE MORNING!”.  After that I just turned over and made myself fall asleep.   That was the last time I ever suggested anything spontaneous.

I hope I am able to sort things out where I can be happier eventually.  We have a vacation coming up and I’m hoping without the distractions of the internet and other electronics that maybe we can learn to fall in love with one another again.  Start over again in a lot of ways..?     I miss who I was a few years ago,  back when I didn’t feel like I was always saying or doing the wrong thing and when the thoughts inside my head would come out of my mouth a lot easier. Back when I made people around me happy rather than frustrated  and when I wanted to be awake rather than laying in bed on the weekends hoping to sleep straight through to Monday when I finally get to go back to work where I feel important and needed

 

I lost my parents way too early in life.. and right now I would give anything to be able to have them here now to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright.

 

😦

 

 

 

 

My review of Rachael Ray’s “Nutrish Dish” brand dog food

So many pet foods out there.. ! aisles and aisles of them, all claiming to be the very best, highest quality or made with the freshest ingredients blessed by mother nature herself, etc etc. I remember when I was a little girl we fed our dog Purina Puppy chow as a puppy (the kibbles with the powdered stuff on it that turned into a creamy substance when water was added)  and then Purina Dog chow as an adult/senior.  There were no breed specifics, special needs, ‘hormone free, additive free, all natural, free range, soy free/wheat free/ choices out there.   A few years later  while watching Price is right one day I saw a commercial for ‘cycle’ brand dog foods. Cycle one, cycle two, cycle three. It was pretty much laid out in front of you. Feed your dog this.. and it will eat.

 

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Everything was so simple back then…

but then came greedy corporations that thought making pet food (AND human food for that matter, but that’s another rant!) was too expensive for their bottom line so they cheapened it, started adding fillers, fake colors, fake flavors and crap that has now become what we call our food today. Working in the veterinary field as long as I have, I have witnessed hundreds of cases of doggy diets done wrong. Your average consumer will judge a pet food by how it is displayed on the container. “Fresh garden greens, carrots, peas, potatoes and chicken” Wow! perfect! it all sounds fine and good until you come home from work that night to find “Fido” has vomited on your carpet and those ‘fresh garden carrots’ have left a bright orange stain that is very unbecoming of a fresh carrot. What I’ve noticed is usually it’s the prettiest bags that hold the biggest lies when it comes to picking out a pet food. One brand which will remain nameless looks amazing on display, but it’s all for show.  The majority of allergy cases we have seen have been related to feeding that brand of pet food.   Dogs will start having recurring ear infections and skin issues, wake their owners up in the middle of the night licking and chewing on their feet and butts.   Anal gland issues, you name it!  That’s what you get when you eat stuff that doesn’t belong inside your belly… your body starts to revolt!   It’s not the pet owner’s fault at all,  it’s false look of the food and the bells and whistles in its advertising that makes them think they are making an amazing choice for their furbaby.

 

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Influenster once again offered to send me a product to test, and this time it was for my dogs.    A new food that was debuting to the public in March.  Rachael Ray’s Nutrish/Dish with Chicken and Vegetables.

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My dogs were thrilled at the opportunity to eat!  No, really!   Usually when I feed them I have to put their bowls at opposite ends of the room.  Otherwise Rebel will gobble up a mouthful of his food then run over to Daisy’s bowl and do the same.. running back and forth until both bowls worth of food are packed tightly in his mouth like a hamster.  He will then attempt to chew and swallow what is in his mouth like a doggy version of ‘chubby bunny’ that often ends up with him coughing out whole pieces of kibble and me chasing him around trying to make sure he doesn’t choke himself to death.    I did an ‘unboxing’ video for Influenster and it turned into a double feature of unboxing and taste test.  Mainly because once I opened the bag the dogs were REALLY interested in what I had.   The first thing I noticed in the bag was dried veggies.   Carrot slices, shriveled up dried peas and little dice shaped dried potato bits.  Then there were chicken bits with kibble.   I divvied out a bit of each piece and let my dogs check it out.   Both were enthralled in eating the food.   Not gobbling up and swallowing as fast as possible but rather enjoying each bite.  Their noses remained in their bowls (THEIR bowls,  Rebel wasn’t doing his usual running back and forth routine) until almost each bite was gone.    The only thing they had trouble with was the rather large carrot slices.  I tried to break them into smaller bits but resorted to just soaking them in a tiny bit of water to soften them.. then they were free game to devour! Overall I really like this food for my pups.  They really took to it and it is very apparent that Rachael Ray formulated this food with the pet’s health in mind.   It’s not just a ‘pretty’ food but rather a REAL food.    Am I going to switch my dogs over to this when it officially hits the shelves?   You bet!

 

Another reason now why I loves me some Rachael Ray.. 😉

 

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Thank you Influenster and Thank you Rachael Ray!  ❤

 

“What was THAT look for??”

Sigh…..

 

this is a rant that may not make sense but it’s been on my mind for so long I just have to get it out.   I don’t know if anyone else has had this problem before or if I really do give off a look that makes me look like an evil asshole.  Whatever the case it’s something really hard to deal with and emotionally it hurts because I don’t really feel that I’m like that.

I will get comments just out of the blue

Geez, what was that look for?”
“What’s the matter with you, Stacey?”
“I’ve been told by the other employees that you have been short with them today, you are really going to have to change your attitude?”
“WE already know what Stacey thinks, her expression tells it all!”
“What was that nasty look for?”
“I saw you driving in your car the other day and you looked so pissed off.  I waved at you and you didn’t even see me.  You don’t even smile when you are driving!”

There are more comments like that..   a lot more.   And it happens all the time now.     When I try to tell people that I am not upset all I get is “Uh huh… well your look says it all!”  After a while I just give up trying to explain because I guess I do make some ugly looks.  Ugly looks that tells the world how foul tempered and annoyed I am with everything.  Why would people lie?   So because of that to some, I am just an ass.  An ass that always gives everyone dirty looks.    Watch out for Stacey!  she’s got an attitude problem!   Remember my blog about first impressions?  I’ve been a victim of that where I currently work.    I think I’ve been pegged as the bitch so people tend of walk on eggshells around me.   What do I do?  What CAN I do?   it seems like some people have already drawn up their own conclusions about me.
It’s enough to bring me to tears sometimes  (most times) … I wish I could somehow film my expression for a week just to see what others see.   I want to know why so many people think that of me.   I am not that kind of person,  I swear!  I want to spend what little time I have left on this earth enjoying life, making people happy, helping animals and making friends… not constantly saying over and over again “I wasn’t making an ugly face”

I do get deep in thought a lot.   Back when I was little I was a shy outcast.  Not only did I have a pretty bad stuttering problem I also didn’t fit in with the popular crowd so I was happy sitting off by myself in elementary school playing with bugs or watching all of the other kids play.   Occasionally one of the popular kids would walk up to me and say “What’s wrong with you?  Are you weird?”  I would just look down at my feet and say “I guess”   I guess I was weird…. but I was happier being weird than considering myself that mean girl’s equal.    Over the years I found my voice and became more social.  I was still shy and wasn’t considered a social butterfly, but  I made a small circle of  friends and developed a pretty comical personality.  I love to make people laugh, and I’ve been told before I am fun to work and hang out with.

However,  it’s those other people that insist that I’m always giving off nasty looks that is making me rethink how I really am.   Is it something I am doing subconsciously?   am I fooling myself when I tell people that I really am happy?    Do I really have that ‘ugly’ face that offends people and makes me not the kind of person people want to socialize with anymore?

It has almost gotten to the point where I have started hating what I see when I look in a mirror.

 

 

I am truly at a loss..

Time to get back on the wagon

bikini me n lau

This is me (on the right)  circa a LONG ass time ago.   The girl I’m with is one of my best friends in the entire world and we are at some water park near Reno, Nevada.   We thought it would be cute to buy matching bikinis (and we pulled it off in my opinion!)  of course the dark story behind the condition of my body is that at the time I was with someone who body shamed me into an eating disorder (I would buy a pair of jeans or some other article of clothing a few sizes too small on purpose then absolutely wreck myself until I could fit in it… even if it meant drinking straight peroxide to induce vomiting… yeah.. let’s not get into that)   I saw myself through different eyes back then.  Manipulated vision, I like to call it.   Now that I look at it over 20 years after it was taken,  my friend and I looked DAMN good!

I think this picture was the last time I ever wore a 2 piece bathing suit.  Not that I will ever wear one again..  my body just doesn’t like 2 piece anythings anymore,  but I’m going to work on getting my body back into the less ‘fluffy’ form.   I had done it over a year ago and had amazing progress,  but then fell off the wagon after a huge falling out with one of my now ex friends.

Me @ 2012

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and here’s me a little over a year ago after a very determined diet plan.

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I felt WORLDS better!   Was starting to get more energy, my knees stopped hurting and I was looking forward to dressing up at events.

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Well,  hubby booked us on a cruise for March so I’m making resolutions to get back into shape for it.    Thankfully I’m not back in the shape of the first picture.. but have dwindled down to the point where I get winded easily.   I’m determined to make a difference in these upcoming months  (and this time…  to stay at that goal!)

Challenge, accepted 2016!   Let’s do this!

 

 

Why?

It’s the New Year and unlike my friends on facebook I didn’t post the obligatory “OMG HAPPY NEW YEAR” messages for all to see.    Because a friend of mine found out earlier yesterday that her brother had taken his own life.
Even as I’m typing this several hours after finding out myself from her my eyes are tearing up thinking about it.    My heart is breaking for her  and for her whole family.   What they must be going through right now.     WHY?  why do people do this to themselves and ultimately to the family and friends that love and care about them?!    I, myself have suffered depression (I still do in a lot of ways)  and have dealt with all of the horrible issues that go along with it….( and yes, I have uttered the words “the world would be better off without an eff up like me in it”   but I could never do that to my family and friends !  Never ever ever!  )    Leaving people behind to wonder if there could have been anything they could have done to make a difference.   Leaving people behind to blame themselves for your choices.

I don’t understand,  and never will.

 

 

Silk’n Flash&Go Express review

Here we go again!   This year I was really on a roll when it came to lucking out in Influenster trials.     This time they asked if I wanted to try out a hair removal system that doesn’t involve waxing, plucking or shaving.      I’ve discovered the older I get,  the more hair is appearing in places where I really wish it wasn’t.     It takes a lot longer to ‘girl myself up’ than it used to… and if I don’t keep up on the regimen I fear I’ll end up like this:

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Same with my upper lip.  It’s not a thick growth of hair but even the scattering of dark hairs in that area is still enough to cause unwanted attention from other people.    It’s just…. gross!    So as I was saying when I was asked if I wanted to try this product out for free in exchange for my opinion  I couldn’t say YES quickly enough.

 

The day it arrived I was going to do an unboxing video but my computer was having issues.   It wouldn’t upload a long video without overheating… so I figured I would do one AFTER the fact…. still didn’t work.

 

The problem I was having is it was hard to film actual progress in using this product.   That isn’t necessarily a bad thing though…  see,  the way this works is the changes DO show itself over a duration of a few treatments, but if you aren’t treating a particularly hairy area it doesn’t really give you the same affect rather than just telling you about it.

 

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The areas I chose to treat were my upper lip,  my armpits and my embarrassing, hairy Hobbit toes.

 

 

to prepare the areas for treatment they recommend that they are washed, shaved and patted dry.    Shaving my upper lip… ugh!     That wasn’t very easy to do considering I knew how it would turn out if the Silk’n Flash&go didn’t do what it was supposed to do!  I would have thick, manly stubble grow in where the hair was and I would be in a worse state.    It took a LOT of nerve to shave my face,  but I finally opted to do it…. after all, if this device did work,  I wouldn’t have this problem for much longer.    I shaved my lip, my pits, my Hobbit toes, patted the skin dry  and prepared for the first treatment.

The instructions said to treat weekly and that sometimes it could take up to 4 treatments to see results,  but I started noticing the hair ‘thinning’ on the third week.    It was subtle,  but definitely noticeable for me since I have to deal with those areas on a daily basis.   Within a month I could look down at my feet and not think about going to Mount Doom and dropping a ring in the lake of fire.

The only effects I felt were the slight heat sensation during treatment,  it didn’t irritate my skin at all and was a lot easier than I thought it would be.   the only drawbacks are if the person desiring treatment is a frequent tanner, has tattoos on the areas they want to treat or has a darker complexion that the unit would not be able to pulsate into.   (thankfully though there is an indicater that checks skin tone before use so it’s basically fool proof!)

Interested in trying it out?  I recommend giving it a go,  since I now have less hair to deal with and only because of a few easy treatments that literally takes minutes to complete.

 

Thank you Influenster!

 

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Vintage records- Disney’s Jungle Book

Haven’t done one of these in a while…   I really have a lot to catch up on!

 

A long time ago I had so many Disney albums I must have played most of them to death.   Back then they made them really cool with a read along book inside to make the whole record album listening experience even more fun!    You won’t see anything like that anymore..  Disney, much like most everyone else tries to crank out products not paying attention to quality.    I really wish I had taken better care of all of my Disney records.  Not because they would be worth a lot,  but because I could totally see myself someday with a record player just spending an afternoon listening to all of those stories again and reading along in the enclosed booklets  (wearing my reading glasses now, of course!)

Money in snails

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A few of my more recent posts have had a darker tone so I figured I would lighten things up a bit with a childhood memory.

When I was  little I was fascinated with pennies and other shiny coins just like any other kid my age.  I was too young to have an ‘allowance’,  but my father would occasionally  give me special chores around the house in order to earn a few coinage. Whenever he presented these tasks to me he made it sound like only I could do it and it was VERY important.   It kept me busy and would give my mom a break from having to find things for me to do.   This one particular time I remember he was out gardening as he did every weekend.   I would sit out and watch him or occasionally pick up a rake and do my best attempt at helping.   He brought me over the bucket that he would use to wash his VW and set it down next to me.

“Stacey, I have a fun project for you to do tomorrow! The snails are eating our garden,  how about I give you a nickel for each one you find in the yard?   Put them in this bucket and I will count them when I come home from work ”

Challenge.  ACCEPTED!

That night all I could think of was starting the next morning as early as possible so I could find every snail that resided on our property.  I had dreams of making handfuls and handfuls of nickels,  enough to buy whatever I wanted at Toys R Us..  Yep,  I would be rich and my dad would be so proud of me when he saw that I had cleansed the earth of those shell wearing, plant eating pests!

 

I grabbed my bucket (didn’t get up at the crack of dawn like I had planned but I was still out early enough before my mom started playing her soap operas on the kitchen television)  and got to work.     I scoured every inch of the yard both back and front.   Behind every bush, flower, rock, along the fence line, around the trees…    and by the end of the day I had accumulated a large cache of snails.     To a child’s eye I had hundreds in that bucket when in reality I probably only had maybe 20 or 30.    It didn’t matter,  all I cared about was my daddy was going to be thrilled with me and I was going to make a LOT of money!    My mom called me in for lunch shortly after that and I could hear “All my Children” on her television,  so I knew it was around noontime.  I didn’t want the snails climbing out of the bucket so I carried it inside into my bathroom and placed it in the bathtub. Closing the little sliding glass door shut on the tub I thought to myself   “There!   they would never get out and would be safe and sound for when my dad got home!”

My father usually came home from work in the evening around 6 or so  (or just after when the ABC evening news theme could be heard on the television).   Mom kept her small kitchen TV playing throughout the day while she puttered around doing her ‘mom things’ so I was able to tell certain times of the day just by what I heard coming from that tv.   I ate lunch,  then went to my room to play.   All I could think of was how proud my dad was going to be when he saw how hard I had worked in the yard that day..  Maybe he would even pay me DOUBLE per snail!     I was going to be set for life!

“OH MY GOD!  DAMNIT!  STAAACEEEEEYYY!!!”
My mom’s voice boomed through the house like an explosion.  I remember I had my bedroom door closed and occasionally I could hear her walk to and from past my door throughout the afternoon doing whatever she was doing.

 

“STACEY!”

 

I opened my door and walked out into the hall.  Literally having no idea what was wrong I looked in the kitchen and the living room for her,  but she wasn’t there.

“Mommy?  where are you?”   I stood there silently waiting for her reply
“I. AM. IN. YOUR. BATHROOM!”

Oh.. ok.     I continued down the hall towards the bathroom still wondering why she was so worked up.   Mom was sort of a drama queen and did tend to overreact at times so it could be anything.    Still, I hadn’t done anything wrong (in fact, in my mind I was a hero that day!)  so the sound and tone of her voice didn’t  jar me one bit ….  until I peeked around the corner into the bathroom.

 

Now,  they say that when you are young and learn things for the first time,  life experiences tend to help things ‘stick’ in your mind more.  Stuff like ‘don’t touch one of the stove burners while they are hot’… burn yourself once and you never do it again.    ‘don’t pick up a bee with your bare hands to get a closer look’…. you’ll get stung.   The lesson I learned today was this:

Snails can get out of a bucket.  snails can also get out of a bathtub with a sliding glass door.   They do not climb, they do not hop and they do not fly… they slime themselves out of the bucket, across the tub and up the wall.

What my mother saw when she walked into the bathroom I am surprised she didn’t pass out.  There were snails everywhere… EVERYWHERE~  on the walls, ceiling, all across the room.   Their slimy trails decorating behind them in zig zag patterns…. all over the white walls.

 

“What the HELL is this?!”

 

I looked around the room still confused at what I was looking at.   huh… I didn’t think they could do that.   I think all I was trying to ponder was why did I find so many on the ground if they could go wherever they wanted by sliming themselves around like that.  Maybe there was more up in the trees I could find later.!

 

“LOOK AT THIS GODDAMN MESS!”

 

Oops.. mom cussed but only mild cuss words.   She would say damnit, and hell the most  (never, ever the brown word or the dreaded f word)   She still would make those 2 mild words just as lethal sounding by the way she pronounced them.     By that time I finally started weighing in on the severity of this situation.   She walked out of the bathroom and I followed behind her.   Stopping for a second she doubled back to the bathroom and slammed the door shut muttering something about how she didn’t want the snails to get out any further.   I continued to follow her into the kitchen explaining the whole situation from my innocent point of view.   I told her about the very important job daddy had given me and how I was going to make a lot of money off of those snails and I didn’t want them left outside where they could crawl out so I brought them in to the bathroom where they would be safe.    Mom waved her hand in front of her face as if to tell me she had heard enough..  with a huge sigh she sat down on her white ‘telephone talking’ stool, picked up the phone and dialed a number.    I sat down at the kitchen table and watched her,  still trying to process the fact that I had done something wrong rather than something completely amazingly awesome.

“Cindi,  do you want to hear what your little sister just did?”

She had called my sister.   Uh oh…   I sat silently and listened to her recant the whole story from when she walked in and found the snails right up to my version of why I had done what I did.   When she was done talking she was silent for a few minutes,  then said “Ok.. I will talk to you later after Frank gets home”   and hung up the phone.

“Mommy, I wanted to say hi to Sissy!”    Really bummed out that she had hung up the phone before I was able to talk to her.    Mom did another deep, heavy sigh and looked over at me sitting at the kitchen table.

“Oh,  she couldn’t talk…. she was laughing too hard”

Mom spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning up the bathroom walls.   I asked her once if I could help but she replied that I had done enough and to go do something else in my room.  I didn’t argue…

Later on that evening when my father came home I am sure mom unloaded on him.   I think I hid in my room until after that exchange was done, unsure of what would happen.   A few times up until he got home I went to my room and cried finally realizing how badly I had screwed up.  All I wanted to do was make my daddy happy and make a few bucks on the side!   Would he be mad at me?   Would he never ask me for help again?  Was I a huge disappointment?

Dad came into my room and sat down on my bed.    Now was the moment if he was going to yell at me it was going to happen.   I looked at him and couldn’t even think of what to say.. so I waited for him to say the first word.

“Well now, your mother told me what happened today….”

Uh huh…   I looked down at my feet and was waiting for him to react the way mom had.  Imagine my surprise when I looked back up at him and he was smiling.

“I guess now we learned something new today about snails!”   he said with a smirk.

He wasn’t mad at all!    He knew my intentions were well meaning and I wasn’t in trouble!   That’s all I was worried about the whole day was disappointing my dad.     He probably sat quietly while my mom yelled and screamed about his ‘stupid’ idea to have me collect snails,  then when she was through he came in to make sure I was okay.   My father the hero!   I never gave him enough credit for being the one who understood me the most.

That night he took me to 31 Flavors ice cream for a cone.   We would do that occasionally and walk up and down the little strip mall looking in all the windows of the businesses while we ate our ice cream.  I don’t think we talked at all about the snails but this was his way of telling me that everything was going to be okay.    Dad still gave me occasional mini jobs to make a little money,  but they never EVER again involved snails!

The above story became a tradition of sorts  to recant at holiday gatherings,  to visiting friends (and my boyfriends), and basically to anyone that would listen when the mood struck my mother or sister.   Cindi had told me years later that it was one of her favorite stories to tell people.     Her little sister that painted the bathroom walls and ceiling with snail slime.   Yep,  that’s me!

 

Glen is alive… and I have

Blogging abilities again!    My laptop has been in the shop getting fixed for almost a month and I was on a tiny Ipod touch for all my leisure internet necessities.  Now when I say “tiny” I am speaking as a lady of 45 years old whose eyesight has begun to worsen.  I have had to wear ‘granny glasses’ in order to see anything on that ipod screen.   So, after a thorough cleaning of all the dust bunnies, dirt and grime from the system and installing a new keyboard here I am again!

One of the things I missed not having this computer was blogging.  Initially I thought “Cool!  Not having a computer will give the opportunity to do things I used to do before the internet!”   that didn’t work out very well… it’s sad but just about everyone relies on this thing for communicating/news/games and other things.     I really tried to make it computer free but now that it’s back in my lap running normally I am relieved.

I even tried to avoid getting a cellphone.   Really, I did!   cellphones are everything nowadays and honestly after my sister passed away I lost that main person that I used to talk to the most.   Just having her handy a few texts away made me happy…   we had grown closer over the years and we talked about everything.    But anyways, after she left this world I had no reason to get a phone.  I mean, why ?      I was perfectly fine not having a phone so I could still have a partial grasp in the real world….  until I gave into peer pressure.

Let me explain,  where I work (well, I’m sure where everyone works in some form) there is a phone roster that compiles everyone along with their contact numbers.    I would give my landline number and the next question would be “and your cellphone is…?”

“I don’t have one…”

*collective gasp*  “You don’t have one??  what the hell is wrong with you??”

Pretty soon I sort of became the office joke.   the one person ‘in this world’ without a cellphone.   So one day I went down to Walmart and asked one of their associates to help me pick out a simple prepaid phone.  One with internet, texting and that’s about it .   I took my new Android home and joined the ‘new generation’.   To some though, it still wasn’t good enough.  One of my co workers absolutely dances out of her skin when the next newest IPhone is released.    For now I’m happy with what I have,  even though if I didn’t HAVE to have it I would be happy too…

I am happy to have this computer back..  I have a LOT of blogging to catch up on including a review for something I was chosen by Influenster to test out.   This long weekend will give me the opportunity to do that..

 

 

Yay!