It’s the New Year and unlike my friends on facebook I didn’t post the obligatory “OMG HAPPY NEW YEAR” messages for all to see.    Because a friend of mine found out earlier yesterday that her brother had taken his own life.
Even as I’m typing this several hours after finding out myself from her my eyes are tearing up thinking about it.    My heart is breaking for her  and for her whole family.   What they must be going through right now.     WHY?  why do people do this to themselves and ultimately to the family and friends that love and care about them?!    I, myself have suffered depression (I still do in a lot of ways)  and have dealt with all of the horrible issues that go along with it….( and yes, I have uttered the words “the world would be better off without an eff up like me in it”   but I could never do that to my family and friends !  Never ever ever!  )    Leaving people behind to wonder if there could have been anything they could have done to make a difference.   Leaving people behind to blame themselves for your choices.

I don’t understand,  and never will.




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