On a positive note…

Ok.. going to share a picture to lighten the mood a bit before heading to bed.    Despite tonight’s ridiculous passive aggressive drama fit,  there were some great things that’s happened within the past few weeks.   I got to see one of my bestest friends the first week of May.   We made plans to attend Texas Frightmare Weekend in Dallas/Fort Worth and the party was a lot of fun.    We hadn’t really realized it but it’s been NINE years since we’ve seen one another.   Thanks to social media like Facebook we’ve been in contact but typing on a computer and getting a real live hug from your best friend that you love dearly are two different things.   This lady was my maid of honor at my wedding and was my backbone when I mustered up the courage to leave the abusive relationship I had endured for 12 years.   She’s a wonderful, dear lady who I have never had an argument or disagreement with once.   She knows me inside and out and I her.   Spending time with her was so wonderful,  I hated the weekend to end.   Next year we are already planning for the next convention.    We will be dressing up in costume  and having as much fun as possible.   This year we dressed up like zombie Alice in Wonderland and the Undead Queen of Hearts.   We looked pretty bad ass if I don’t say so myself 🙂

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IMG_1889alice and queen

Already working on ideas for next year.    There was another Alice at the party but her costume kind of sucked 😉   Mine had a white rabbit on a noose in tow and lots of shredding and blood stains on my dress.   Can’t wait til next year,   to see my best friend,  so spend time with her and to be able to cut loose a little bit and be crazy.

Ok.  end happy rant.    feeling a bit better now.

Passive aggressive bulls***

Pretty much sucks that now that I am inspired to write in this again it’s a rant,  but then again if I don’t get it out here I may never get it out.
Communication is important… no,  it’s ESSENTIAL for a relationship to work.     If you don’t talk then people don’t know  what ‘s going on with you, whether it be good or bad.   With that  being said,  nothing frustrates me more when I am trying to discuss something with someone and I get shut down by a ‘yeah yeah, I know I suck’ response.     This is what just happened:

Me , with an armload of laundry steps blindly into the walk into the walk-in closet.    Something sharp stabs into my instep and that tendon spot above my heel.    Ouch.      On the floor are a pile of metal wire hangers from the dry cleaners.    Out of a pain reaction I limp into the bedroom and mention the hangers on the floor.   All I get as a response is no eye contact,  no acknowledgement.. just a  “Yeah,  I did it again….”

Really??    GRRRRRRRR!  WHY. DO. YOU. DO. THAT???  I take that as a ‘f you,  just leave me alone, you aren’t worth talking to” when that is said to me.   A verbal slap in the face.    It stings and pisses me off sooo very much.

Usually when something like this happens this means the mood in our household will be tense for a while.  No doubt something is on his mind and/or bothering him but heck if I know what it is.   I used to probe and try to find out what the problem is, but lately it creates more trouble than it’s worth so I just stay quiet and keep to myself.    I miss picking up the phone to talk to my sister.   She was always a phone call away when I needed her.   I sure hope there was a dang good reason why God felt the need to call her home so soon,  because she wasn’t finished here on earth in my opinion.   She had many more years of enjoyment with her grandkids,  AND her new granddaughter Maddy.   She missed out on a possible trip to Europe and could have mended fences with our brother which is something I know she wanted more than anything.  I miss her every day still…I wish I could still hear her voice anytime I wanted to.

Oh well…   I guess I’ll just go to sleep.   No need staying up any longer to try to figure this shit out.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.    I guess I’ll find out if I open my mouth and not get shut down for it.

Bleh.

Bygones

Celebrated Mother’s day a bit differently this year.  Actually to be honest I haven’t celebrated Mother’s day in years.   I had hoped that by now I would have become a mother myself but that hasn’t happened and probably never will (different topic, different time)
This year I decided to send a Mother’s day gift to Donna.   I received the notification in my email that a dozen multicolored tulips were delivered and tomorrow she will be getting some chocolate dipped strawberries (cute little offer over at Shari’s Berries)   I didn’t put anything overly gooshy in the card even though I thought about saying “Sorry again for being a little shit when I was a kid”   that is in the past and letting bygones be bygones is best.    I’m thankful I had this opportunity to do something like this for her.  My mom would understand I think… and if not,  then too bad.

It’s a good feeling.    Probably one of the only good things I have going on in my life right now…   everything else is so jumbled up I don’t even know where to start.